A Sunny Day...

I'm completely aware that I cause people to stare, when I speak they get scared, until they see I'm a square. This loosens them up. Influences trust. Since I'm goofy as fuck, they're like, “ He's cool, he can come.”

Until I do something dumb.

I end up falling in love.

That's when I fear for the future and all I want is to run.

After my failure at marriage I've been so wary of love. I know the real things that damaged me happened when I was young.

Turned to a hoe, now I'm different, but is that really the case? I took myself out of situations, not looking for dates.

At the same time I changed my mind so many times on this subject. Some days I try to play it nice and wind up right back in trouble.

Pledging my heart for a moment. That lasts a while but it's golden. That's all I know, it keeps me going so I hardly will notice.

Until I do.