Happy birthday Mom...

Today is my mother's birthday. She passed away in 2021, and I still miss her. As I think about it now, I get sad.

I realized that I hardly knew her, so I can only speak from my perspective.

When my little brother and I were put in a foster home in 1986, I was 8 years old. We stayed in the foster home for 4 years, but after the 2nd year I was already checked out emotionally.

The abuse that I endured there made me numb to feeling loved. When we finally got out of there and went back to Mom, I was different.

And my mom was not soft or comforting. How could she be? She was a single mom, working multiple jobs, taking care of 3 children now, in Queens in the 90s.

Later on, I decided to go to college in Atlanta, and I hardly went back to New York. I hardly called anyone. I just wanted to create a new life.

And now, 30 years later, I miss her so much. Dementia took her away, along with a bunch of other stuff.

The last time we spoke, she denied me as her son, saying she only has 2 children, and I am not one of them. I know it was the Dementia, but it still hurts to think about.

Regardless, I will always remember you Mom. You taught me how to read. You used to play board games with me. You helped me so many times in life. I failed you too many times, not living up to your expectations. But I am not giving up.

You told me I could do whatever I put my mind and effort into. You encouraged me to do better. You brought me into this world. I love you Mom. Happy birthday. Rest In Peace.